New Crush 40 And The Chalkeaters Music Video Released
Have you ever wondered what the Sonic gang will do when they all grow up? Since they’ve been kids for three decades now, that’s unlikely to be depicted in video games. Alas, Sonic is doomed to remain 15 years old forever, an eternity of high school.
But now, the blue blur has grown! And struggling to pay his bills. And in an unhappy marriage. And work in the gig economy. Thanks to an animated music video from The Chalkeaters, we can see Sonic take on his worst enemy yet – the hellscape that lives in 2022. Sadly, it doesn’t look like he’ll make it.
The video is accompanied by a new Crush 40 track, Crushing Thirties, which sums up just how much his life sucks right now. Along with a bunch of gaming references, we see Sonic lounging around the house as the bills piled up – and even has a speeding ticket to pay.
We also have a look at the Sonic in-universe Wikipedia page, which indicates that Eggman is now too old to fight. Oh, and Omochao is dead dead. Attractive. He also notes that Sonic “doesn’t want to go on Adventure Three anymore,” a reference to the fact that we’ll never get a sequel to the best Sonic game ever.
Sonic also works for an imitation of Uber Eats, called Eaty Feety. And given the Sonic community’s penchant for lewd art involving this area of the body, it’s an image we could do without.
On top of that, we see what the rest of the gang is up to. Knuckles, also now believed to be in his thirties, works in maintenance and drinks on the job, while Tails and Cream have dead-end and overwhelming office jobs.
It’s a unique way to end Sonic’s birthday celebrations, that’s for sure. Much more appropriate than Steve Aoki at least.
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Your drying pan won’t protect you from the wrath of societal nullification, Brock.
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